
I've had this here wall hanging since birth. When I learn to read and write I'll know what it says. For now I'll just concentrate on the image. Maybe I'll get a spotlight and teach my toys how to dive.

Yep! It's a Mr. T air freshener for the car. I can't exactly remember what the scent was like, but gold plating mixed with owl feathers sorta rings a bell. After retiring my Mr. T air freshener from its position as an automobile aroma enhancer (some thirty years ago) he was re-assigned as a Christmas tree ornament. Everyone in the neighborhood says our tree is Triple good. Some folks even get a little weepy, and that's when my Harley Davidson tissue holder comes in handy. So, when it comes to Christmas decor: it matters not how many fancy bulbs and flashy displays are out there. I'm secure in the knowledge that, with the help of Mr. T, my tree beats em all. You dig, sucka?
"Omah-gawd! It's already two oclock! I'll never make it back in time," chirps the ever lovable Ms. Konduct, as the Cartilage Kid and Bell, his faithful amphibian, witness the spectacle. "Jumpin' june bugs Ms. Konduct! Didn't you notice that Barlow's Fancy Feed Emporium is ah blazing like a burnt steak," exclaims the Kid. "I'm so sure your bunkhouse tales are totally awesome, but I seem to have misplaced my Good Citi Zen collectors edition ear ring, so I've reeelly got to dash back to the beach house and grab my spare! Could you be a sweety beet and pleeeeze go into the emporium to keep an eye on my self lighting candle display and tell em I'll be back in shakes-of-two to begin my demo?" pleads our dazzling dame. 
This is the Miniature Cattle Display that brought me to the honorary position I presently hold. Originally I assembled my corral fence using popsicle sticks, but because of the red and orange pop stains I couldn't render that authentic "Old West" look that all the judges are keen on. I ended up dis-assembling my mother's bird house for fencing lumber and the rest is history. The birds that lived in my mother's bird house are also history, but I did see some birds that looked just like em flitting around a neighbor's drain pipe, so I'm sure they're getting along just fine. As Roy Orbison once sang "You've got to break a few eggs and throw a few hands full of gravel to make a good omelet." I think that if Roy had written that song today he would've added "or a good miniature cattle display."

